It’s a Boy, not a Girl

Monday, December 2^nd, 2024 – Safeway

We are at the start of a new week and a new month, and the temperature is freezing. On the plus side, we found no roadkill, but then again, we found no money. Come on, we are walking in the cold, rain, sleet, and snow, and Christmas is around the corner. Loosen up with the loose change. Okay, we don’t walk in the sleet or snow, but we added it for effect.

Someone found a way to keep warm, though.

Hopefully not in the gutter where we found it.

We came upon a large, lost or discarded bag of trash of some sort.

It wasn’t that heavy, but it was too bulky for us to carry. We returned later with the car and retrieved it. We will open it tomorrow and reveal the secrets of this treasure. We’d be pleasantly surprised if it was a large bag of twenty-dollar bills, but we will settle for one-dollar bills. [Edit] Later in the day, we picked up the bag in the car and brought it home. Surprise! No money at all. It contained one smaller bag of random trash that we sorted out. The rest was paper, foam and bubble wrap, including a twenty foot by two-foot piece of bubble wrap. We will take the wrapping materials to a local packaging store. Did we mention there was no money?

We picked up what looked like a small slinky in good condition.

And it turned out to be a small slinky. Eight bucks on Amazon. It’s cool, but an expensive cool.

We came to a spill in the road at the curve on top of Norway Hill.

The label stated it was a Wash&Wax. Why someone would wash and wax their car here, we don’t know, but we can’t wait for the snow and ice on top of the soap and wax.

And another visit of the McLitterers.

We have found well over fifty of these people’s McDonalds litter. They always have two cups with teabags, two clean platters, a bag of unused utensils, two unopened syrups and four or five unopened butters. The first image is down a steep bank that Chuck traversed.

Coming back up, the bank was slippery, and Chuck had the bag in his grabber up the bank afraid that if he let go, it would roll back down. It wasn’t dangerous, he just couldn’t gain traction. Meanwhile a friend was on his way up the hill and stopped to chat with Janet. He asked if Chuck needed help and Janet replied no, he’s good. Eventually, our friend continued up the hill and Janet took the bag with her picker and unstuck Chuck.

Tuesday, December 3^rd, 2024 – Park-and-Ride

Today was hovering around freezing again, and we found no roadkill or money. It’s like our assets are also frozen. We found a tool, though.

A tape measure. A few years ago, we went through a phase when we seemed to find a lot of these in various conditions. This one was on the freeway entrance and spent too much time being run over. It just didn’t measure up and got recycled.

Also, on the freeway off-ramp, another lug nut.

This is one of those where the stud sheared off rather than loosened. This is more dangerous than a loose lug nut. Loosened lug nuts can cause the wheel to wobble and ruin the wheel, but it gives a warning that something is going wrong. However, over-tightening the lug nuts can cause a sudden detachment of the wheel.

Fortunately, the one we found was on the off-ramp.

We picked up the remnants of a shatter scatter.

Our intuition tells us a Toyota was involved. Isn’t it strange how intuition works? Spooky.

Someone lost their keys.

In fact, they lost their entire keyboard.

Wednesday, December 4^th, 2024 – Safeway & 100th

Whelp, today we awoke at our normal time and checked the temperature. 28°F (-2.2°C). Nope, we went back to sleep.

Thursday, December 5^th, 2024 – 160th to 124th Street

Today the temperature was about 31°F (-0.6°C), so we ventured out. We didn’t find any money and removed a raccoon and an opossum from the streets.

We came across a wrecked car.

Okay, it may have been dropped by a kid, but it is a car wreck. Or perhaps it’s a model for a new Pixar movie about drunk driving called “Bars,” or “Cars behind bars?”

We picked up a knit cap in the ditch.

It seems to have a skull or a storm trooper image on it. It was probably tossed by a disgruntled trick-or-treater. “Oh, how cute! A storm trooper.” “No, it’s a death skull cap, you idiot!”

What week would be complete without a urine bottle.

As we mentioned, it was very cold but the urine was not frozen. At what temperature does urine freeze? Inquiring minds want to know. Or perhaps we don’t. Somewhere in this article from the Oxford Academic, “The Urine that Would Not Freeze” is the answer. Good luck.

Friday, December 6^th, 2024 – 100th Ave NE

Finally, we got some warmer weather for our walk, 34°F (1.1°C). It did make a difference, though a bigger difference would be appreciated. We removed another roadkill opossum today, the second this week which might be a first that we are not proud of.

This is a milestone day.

We have been passing this house building site for several years and this is the first time the lights have been on. It’s still vacant, but still. The first permit sign that was erected was in 2020 and we all know what happened then. Anyway, here we are nearly five years later, and a lightbulb lights.

We picked up the contents of someone’s wallet tossed either by the owner or someone who lifted it from the owner.

There was a coupon for a free carwash that expires at the end of this month. Several Forever stamps that never expire and a couple of business cards. Then the person’s Covid vaccination card. Yes, we would have gotten rid of that also.

Then there are the two customer loyalty cards one full and the other almost full, so it must be a coffee shop or a pizza establishment. But no, it is a pottery shop that also has pottery-making classes. The person who lost this card must really like making pottery, but it’s too bad they don’t sell beer also. He could get potted at the same time.

Someone tossed her sonograms.

She must have wanted a girl.

We found a couple of condoms today, unused.

This one was partially unsealed on one side but had not been removed. Her: “Oh, never mind, take me home.” Him: “But babe, I almost have it out.” He’s one of those guys who takes fifteen minutes to open a present to save the wrapping paper.

We found these near each other.

An unopened condom and an unopened pair if ear plugs. There are so many stories that come to mind here.

Saturday, December 7^th, 2024 – Riverside Drive

This morning, the temperature was 47°F (8.3°C), a full thirteen degrees warmer than yesterday. But with the warmth came rain, a soaking rain the entire walk, with a slight breeze. We arrived home thoroughly cold and wet except for what our rain jackets covered. There’s no free lunch.

We didn’t find any money today and there was no roadkill unless we count prawn shells.

A tenant at a trailer park on Brickyard Road evidently likes to eat prawns, but not put the shells in their garbage. Solution? Just toss them over the fence.

We found a couple of tools.

A bungee cord in not-bad condition and a 4-piece Craftsman ratcheting wrench set with three pieces missing. But the 1/2 – 9/16ths-inch wrench is in very good condition.

On our way down the hill, we saw that the Iron Man has the holiday spirit.

But don’t let the costume fool you, the sword is still in his hand behind the sugar cane. It looks like Santa has a gun to his back. “Hands up, you imposter.”

At the apartments on Riverside Drive, someone put a couple of night stands out front with a “free” sign on them.

Most of the time when the tenants do this, the items are beat-up and worthless. But these seem to be in good condition. Except being a bit waterlogged.

Another knit cap, the second of the week.

We thought we picked up another pair of readers.

However, we found that they are prescription with Versace frames.

We found them near the apartments. We’ll see if they have a lost-and-found and try to return them.

We came across a monocular.

Okay, it’s half of a pair of binoculars that sell for about $180.

The focus adjustment is damaged, so they appear to focus at a distance of about twenty feet. We’ll recycle it. But wait, “Unlimited, Unconditional Warranty?” Well, that puts a whole new light on the situation.

With that, we wrap up another TrashWalking week. Our take,

• Not one red cent, but we did miss a walking day.
• 4 Roadkill, two raccoons and two opossums.
• 3 Balls, returned to their respective yards.
• 3 Tools including a tape measure that couldn’t measure up.
• 3 Condoms, one used, one partially open, and one for use in noisy situations.
• 2 Knit skull caps, one with a skull.
• 2 Pottery shop rewards cards.
• 1 Miniature slinky with a big price tag.
• 1 Santa imposter.
• 1 Slippery spot.
• 1 McLitters’ mess.
• 1 Wireless, keyless keyboard.
• 1 Covid card, used.
• 1 Sonogram, boy, not girl.
• 1 Pair of expensive glasses.
• 1 Urine bottle, not frozen.
• 1 Monocular with warranty, suitable for a pirate.

Have a great week and remember, don’t let your urine freeze.