Eighteen Bongs and Bags

Monday, February 17^th, 2025 – Safeway

Finally, after the streak of cold and snowy weather, we are back on our normal routes. The weather will hold for at least a week with temperatures in the low 40s and rain. We can handle that. Once again, Janet’s favorite drive-thru was empty, so, no money, and we didn’t come across any tools.  But we removed a roadkill rat from the road.

We walked this route on Saturday, but there was still a significant amount of trash uncovered by the melting snow. We found two pairs this morning. First, a pair of identical keys near 7Eleven.

They had the same number stamped on them, but there is no way to track down the owner.

The second pair were identical lug nuts about twenty feet apart.

We have found a lot of lug nuts and discussed how bad it is because of the extra stress on the remaining nuts. Losing two lug nuts would cause even more stress. We watched for more lug nuts or evidence of a mishap, but nothing.

Tuesday, February 18^th, 2025 – Park-and-Ride

Today was another comfortable day and much of our route has already been covered in our last three walking days, so the amount of trash was less. Not light, but lighter. Again, we came across no money and no roadkill. We did find an almost roadkill. Near the end of our walk, we spotted an opossum up on a bank.

At first, we thought it was deceased, but it was alive, moving very slowly. It could have been playing possum, but we decided it had probably been hit by a car and climbed the bank. We decided to leave it to its fate. Tomorrow, we’ll see.

Okay, no money and no roadkill, but we did find a tool.

A tightening ratchet. It was slightly rusty but still usable to tighten things. However, it can’t loosen anything because the lever that reverses the ratchet was broken off. It must not be a fan of loose ends.

As we began the walk, we found another wheel cover.

It was in bad condition, and fortunately, a recycle bin was nearby. Wheel covers are a pain to carry.

One of the bus stops, and more importantly, the trash can we depend on are gone.

Crime around here is getting out of hand.

We picked up a drug needle.

When we first started walking almost ten years ago, we would find two or three needles per week. Now they are rare due to fentanyl being the new drug of choice. Ah, the progress.

We found Tray Ash’s cup.

He is obviously proud of it. [Edit: we were notified that it is probably “Ash Tray,” not “Tray Ash.” It was an easy mistake since there were no ashes in it.]

Here’s a clever life hack: If you want to keep someone from swiping your bucket, write this on it.

And we didn’t touch it either.

Wednesday, February 19^th, 2025 – Safeway & 100th

Today was the third pass over much of this route since the big weather delay, and trash volume is back to normal. We found no money but expected a roadkill of the opossum we saw struggling yesterday, but it was nowhere to be seen. Either it was playing possum and took off or a coyote got it. Either way, we didn’t need to deal with it.

We did find a tool, though.

Somebody tossed a Stanley FatMax 16-foot tape measure, $22 on Amazon. This is the first one we’ve found in a while, maybe it didn’t measure up.

We found a piece of clothing.

A blue tank top with a Fireball Whiskey bottle nearby. It must have been a wild night.

We found another tank of nitrous oxide (laughing gas).

It is a Space Gas, 4.4-liter watermelon-flavored tank of NO₂ costing about a hundred bucks. These are for recreational use and weigh about twenty pounds. Right, try walking down the street snorting this. It does have a nice nostril-friendly nozzle on top.

We found this cap at the top of the Tolt Pipeline Trail.

A camo cap with “AfterCare” embroidered on it. We searched this term, and it is generally associated with care after some event. Some are medical, but several are related to caring for a partner after a sexual encounter. Either way, how do you explain a camo AfterCare hat? “Hi, AfterCare? I just made it with my girlfriend, and am going fishing with a buddy. Can you send a guy over to cuddle? Thanks!”

Thursday, February 20^th, 2025 – 160th to 124th Street

Today was our first walk on NE 160th St. since the big freeze. It wasn’t as bad as we feared, and we can fear a lot when it comes to trash. We still haven’t found any money, but found another tool.

A large, 19-mm deep socket going for about eight bucks online. But unfortunately it won’t fit the ever-tightening ratchet we picked up earlier.

We work crossword puzzles and today we had a clue, “Turning heads.” The answer was “Screwing.” Someone was turning heads at the apartments on 112th Ave NE last night.

And they probably did turn heads.

And the week would not be complete without the perfunctory urine bottles.

Two of them today; Fred Meyer and Gatorade. We should start keeping track of the preferred brand of urine bottles. No, we should not.

We mentioned that, for not walking this route for a few weeks, the route was clean. There was an exception. Every week, we pass a spot on 116^th Ave NE that has a bunch of cigarette butts. We have seen the woman who drops them. She lives in the apartments and crosses the street to smoke with her face in her phone.

This morning there were about two hundred butts by the side of the road and the two of us spent about five minutes picking them up. Perhaps we’ll put a coffee can labelled “Butts” and see if she uses it, but we wouldn’t count on it.

Friday, February 21^st, 2025 – 100th Ave NE

This morning’s weather was about the same as yesterday, beginning in the high forties. We removed a roadkill rabbit from the street and found some money in the construction zone on 100th Ave NE.

A quarter beside a Honey Bucket latrine. We’re not sure how the quarter ended up there, but it may have been a pay toilet. We should have checked.

Along Juanita-Woodinville Way, we found two McDonalds cups with urine-soaked napkins in them.

We hope this isn’t a new flavor offering.

As we travelled through the construction zone on 100th Ave NE, a guy came out of the construction office.

He asked how clean the work area was, and we answered that it was pretty clean. He said that if he needs to yell at the guys he will, and they don’t pay them good money not to pick up their own @^#&* garbage.

Since the big freeze, we have covered about half of this morning’s route on previous walks, so we figured it would be an easy one. We figured wrong. The construction area was clean, but Simonds Road and NE 145^th St. were messy. We picked up two more of the large NO₂ Canisters, another watermelon and a grape flavor. We decided to leave them and a car part at a corner for pick up later with the car.

A little farther on, we found yet another grape canister with the box.

When we reached the beginning of our trek over Norway Hill, we decided to leave another pile of stuff to lighten our load.

As we started up the hill, a construction truck pulled over and a lady came toward us with a bag.

She was told that, if she saw us to stop and take the trash off our hands. After some discussion about the canisters, we explained where the two piles of trash were, and she took off to collect them. Nice. We should have asked for her cell number.

Saturday, February 22^nd, 2025 – Riverside Drive

We haven’t done this route in over a month, so we thought it would be difficult, but we underestimated difficulty. We found a penny at the park-and-ride.

We also removed another roadkill rabbit from the freeway offramp. There could have been more roadkill, though. On a short stretch of road by some wetlands, we counted eight salamanders in the gutter.

This section of the road is blocked due to a damaged bridge, so traffic is very sparse. The bridge is set to reopen this Friday, so these reptiles better get out while the getting’s good.

We picked up a lot of cans today including five full ones.

Two White Claw hard seltzers, a Fanta, and two Rainier beers. Not bad payment, but we would prefer cash.

We should contact the ASPCA.

In an area with a lot of Coyotes, it’s cruel to name a cat after a food item.

The park-and-ride provides some items of interest.

Someone’s ID badge with no company information attached and a common name.

A QWALIT bag.

Inside was a plastic bag with some rings in it. After some research, Qwalit makes body jewelry, primarily for piercings. These don’t specify what body part they are meant for, but it may be a complete set?

A pair of men’s underwear.

This guy has a crotch problem.

Also, at the park-and-ride, we got carried away pulling trash out of the ground cover. This is a photo early into the excavation.

When we got home and sorted the recycling we ended up with a pile of homemade bongs.

We know the general theory, but we don’t know exactly how these work. Somehow, they need to burn the product, but we found no foil or other material that would support the production of smoke. More mysteries.

Today was a slog. On Saturdays, Chuck walks the route, and Janet takes the car to hopscotch Chuck cleaning up areas of concentrated trash. When we got home and sorted everything out, we counted that we had used eighteen bags.

It was a long day.

That wraps up the week. Our inventory this week,

• 26 Cents.
• 18 Hand-made bongs.
• 18 Used garbage bags.
• 8 Salamanders.
• 5 Unopened beverages
• 4 NO₂ Canisters, and we’re not laughing.
• 4 Urine containers, two of a new flavor.
• 3 Balls.
• 3 Tools including Fat Max.
• 3 Roadkill, not including the no-show opossum.
• 1 Wheel cover.
• 1 Pair of men’s underwear with a rotting crotch.
• 1 Missing bus stop.
• 1 Tray’s ash tray.
• 1 Bio bucket.
• 1 Cuddling cap.
• 1 Nervous cat.
• 1 Set of piercing rings for every occasion.

Have a great week and remember to try McDonalds’ new flavors.