Microsoft Near Misses

Monday, March 3^rd, 2025 – Safeway

It feels good to be back on a normal weekly schedule, at least so far. We have no trips planned and the weather seems to be relatively mild for February, so we are optimistic. And today we had a Superfecta. We didn’t know what it was either, but it’s a horse racing term for picking four winners in a row, one above a Trifecta. Our Superfecta was not about horses, though, it was about counting our usual finds. First, we removed a roadkill rabbit from the street. Not something to look forward to, but still a regular find. Find one.

Next, we found some money.

Don’t get excited, it was only a penny, but it adds up. Find number two.

Next, we stumbled, literally, on a tool.

A 12-mm combination wrench in good condition. Find three, a Trifecta.

Finally,

A urine bottle, find four for a Superfecta. Okay, we would have been happy with the Trifecta.

With the warm weather, the kids seem to be getting frisky.

We found three condoms and wrappers this morning. First, in front of the apartments on 112th Ave NE, a condom, wrapper and several Kleenex tissues. Couldn’t they have waited until they got inside? Of course, they could have been married neighbors. Think about it.

Next was a condom on the lawn of a church. It was in two pieces like lightning may have struck it. Ouch! Finally another at a bus stop. The buses were running late that day.

In a parking lot, a lost lady’s top.

We don’t understand how she could lose her top without noticing. We would certainly notice, or at least Chuck would.

At a crosswalk near a bus stop, we spotted a new sign.

It’s a sign asking people to report near misses with vehicles. Oddly, they do not include actual hits, just near misses. Anyway, we visited the website, and it showed an interactive map of the U.S., but it obviously originated in the Seattle area. They don’t indicate why they are tracking this, but a snapshot of the area shows this map.

Seattle is on the left; Lake Washington is in the middle; and the “Eastside” is on the right. The red balloons on the right are centered on Redmond, WA, the location of the main campus of Microsoft.

Okay, we can think of several things to say here, like “Looks like they need to reboot Redmond” or “Redmond: Where pedestrians have to CTRL-Z their steps.” – Too bad real life doesn’t come with an Undo button when you step off the curb at the wrong time. Could it be because Redmond is being hailed as a model city for high-density housing?

Tuesday, March 4^th, 2025 – Park-and-Ride

This morning was a bit chillier, and not as spectacular with the finds like yesterday. We only found a tool.

Is there such a thing as a “Monofecta?” It was a hammer in reasonable condition. Is there such a thing as a “Monofecta?” It was a hammer in reasonable condition. But, of course, it’s in reasonable condition, it’s a hammer. You could run over it all day.

As we headed for the freeway, we noticed a mess across on the other side of Juanita-Woodinville Way. We crossed over and gathered the big pieces.

“Emergency Exit.” So, when you are riding a bus and there is an emergency escape hatch with the big red lever, have you ever wondered what would happen if you turned the handle? Well, apparently the hatch escapes, only to be run over by the following traffic. Now, in a real emergency, are you going to jump out after the hatch?

Also in the same area, another condom.

We doubt that this had anything to do with the emergency, but you never know.

At the park-and-ride, we found another piece of apparel.

At first, Janet thought it might be a sports bra, but it turned out to be a “convertible” Balaclava.

So, it was meant for an entirely different boob.

As we continued down Juanita-Woodinville Way, we had the type of encounter that we enjoy most about TrashWalking. At an intersection a young lady approached us.

She said that she and a friend have seen us picking up trash for about five years and appreciate the service we perform. She hoped we would not be offended and gave us two gift cards.

We thanked her very much and continued our walk. One gift card was for Starbucks and the other was for a bookstore. We have been given several gift cards over the years and appreciate each one. We have had a few folks to try to give us money, but we refuse. We don’t need the money, but when someone goes out of their way to get a gift card for us, we accept. Normally they are Starbucks or other coffee gift cards, but this is the first for a bookstore. Perhaps we’ll find a book on how to get a life. We’ll risk a trip to Redmond where the bookstore is located.

Wednesday, March 5^th, 2025 – Safeway & 100th

Compared to yesterday, today’s walk was a bit blah. We picked up plenty of trash, but nothing was too exciting. No roadkill, money or gift cards. We did find another laughing gas carton.

This one was Mango-Flavored, and thankfully, we did not find the canister. So far in the last few weeks, we have found Watermelon, Grape, Banana, and now Mango. If we find a Liver-Flavored one, we will quit.

Another pair of readers.

These were only 1.50x, a rank amateur. And broken to boot.

Last week, the temperatures were temperate and a friend sent us this.

Today, the weather was cooler, so it seems we are on schedule. Spring in the Pacific Northwest. Expect actual spring around mid-May.

Thursday, March 6^th, 2025 – 160th to 124th Street

This morning’s walk was again cool, not in a good way, in a cold way. We found no roadkill and no tools but found money at the park-and-ride.

Yep, another penny doubling our money this week. So, if we keep doubling it each day for the remainder of the week, we will end up with fifteen cents. Well, that won’t work. Let’s say we find a penny then double it every day for a month. We will collect $10,737,418.23. So, you guys start planning and be ready for next month.

Okay, that is probably not going to happen, but we did find an unopened can of Dr. Pepper worth about fifty cents.

So, let’s say we keep doubling the cans of Dr. Pepper every day for a month…

Along NE 160^th St., we started finding car parts. Then we found the reason.

On a straight, four-lane, 35mph street, someone ran off the road and took out several posts of a chain-link fence leaving bits and pieces of the car behind. You think alcohol might be involved? Oh, wait, we’re in Washington State, it could be weed too.

We picked up a two-inch diameter plastic disk.

It’s a Pokémon Coin – Charizard, nine bucks on Amazon. And we still don’t understand the Pokémon game.

We found two wheel caps from the same parent company.

A Volkswagen and a Porsche. We found the VW cap online for about $17. The Porsche on the other hand was $42. Both are made of plastic, and yes, the Porsche is a bit bigger and looks cooler, but the VW weighs more, so the VW must cost more to produce. So, the Porshe owner is unfairly paying more for less. That’s fine with us; we can sell it for $42.

Friday, March 7^th, 2025 – 100th Ave NE

Well, that was quick. We are already into our second winter. The temperature this morning was 33°F (0.6°C) with frost on the ground and it remained cool and blustery all day. We found some money where a food truck parks.

Three cents dropped by a customer who thought, “It’s only three pennies, not worth picking up.” Not us, we stoop for every penny we see. And why not, we heard each penny costs two cents to make, so this is like, six cents worth. It makes cents to us.

We also found more tools.

A combination screwdriver marked with a price tag of $0.50 and a matching saw blade, used but still good. Then we found the remains of a run over utility knife. Okay, make it two tools we found.

We hate these things.

Good-intentioned organizations put clothes and shoes collection bins out and not so good-intentioned people use it as an excuse to dump stuff. A stroller, a kid’s toy fort and a fake Christmas tree. We suppose one could wear a Christmas tree as a costume for the next company Christmas party. It would show your boss that you are branching out. Also, you might enhance your chance of promotion by stating “Your present is under the tree.” Sorry.

We found a key with no markings on the street.

It was unremarkable.

And on the negative side of our walk today,

A Coca Cola-branded urine bottle and an unbranded condom tied in a knot. Someone must have been upset at the encounter. Looks painful.

Someone lost a two-pound scuba diving weight.

These weights are used by divers to offset their buoyancy while diving. We know divers dive in the Puget Sound, so if you happen to see a diver bobbing around on the surface, let him know we found his weight.

Saturday, March 8^th, 2025 – Riverside Drive

Today was warmer again, but we don’t think it is the Spring of Deception yet. We found no tools and no money, but did remove another roadkill rabbit. And we also found a ring.

It is in excellent condition and is marked 14K GF which means Gold Filled. The ring is made of a base metal like brass with a layer of gold bonded to it. It produces a better piece of jewelry than gold plating for a reasonable cost. Here is one on Amazon that looks similar to this one for nine dollars.

The first thing we found today was very close to our house.

Somebody gave us the brush-off. A lost pet brush. We’ll keep our eyes open for the Lost Pet Brush signs.

Near the Bothell parking lot, someone left a shopping bag.

It was full of weed. Actually, it was full of weeds. We don’t know why. We took it behind the bench and emptied the weeds into the weeds.

Some fine human beings dumped a refrigerator in a turnout on Riverside Drive.

You know the movies where someone opens a refrigerator and finds something grizzly in it? Well, we cautiously opened the main door and found nothing. But then we opened the freezer compartment but still found nothing. Not even ice cubes. Yes, it was an “un-grizzly bare” refrigerator.

We found a hubcap in very good condition.

Janet took a selfie. She looks like Gumby.

A couple more pairs of glasses.

The ones on the left are sunglasses missing a lens, but we did find a loose lens nearby that might work. They would be perfect for the partly sunny days. The second pair are some scratched up safety glasses.

We came across some food today.

Some sausage and a Black Cherry Hard Seltzer. Sounds like a good snack for us. But we don’t know how long the sausage has been in the bushes. But the Seltzer should be fine. We checked the contents.

But it contains zero juice and undefined “Natural Flavors.” No Black Cherries. We decided to pass on the snack.

We picked up some probable stolen mail.

It was mostly junk mail and opened envelopes, so all the good stuff was gone.  It got recycled.

About every six months, we each get a new pair of shoes, and our twentieth pairs of Brooks arrived today.

Janet’s shoes are on the left and Chuck’s are on the right. You guess which are the new ones and which have 706 miles on them.

That wraps up another TrashWalking week. Our inventory this week,

• 5 Cents, not a good week.
• 73 Warnings to stay out of Redmond.
• 5 Balls, mostly returned over fences.
• 5 Condoms
• 4 Tools with one utility knife, not utile and not counted.
• 3 Pairs of glasses, all recycled.
• 3 Hubcaps and a selfie.
• 2 Roadkill rabbits.
• 2 Urine bottles.
• 2 Gift cards, one for a book to fall asleep by and the other to keep us awake.
• 2 Unopened beverages, both cherry-flavored without cherries.
• 2 Items of apparel including a balaclava fit for a boob.
• 1 Destroyed fence.
• 1 Bag of useless stolen mail.
• 1 Christmas tree costume.
• 1 Diver’s weight, holding down the road.
• 1 Golden ring, not five like the song.
• 1 Bag of weed(s).
• 1 Un-grizzly fridge.
• 1 Escaped emergency escape hatch.

Have a great week and and be careful when walking in Redmond.