Toyminator

As we start a new week, the weather has turned extremely warm. We walk early, so it does not affect us too much. Our ideal temperature is about 55°F (12.8°C), but the recent few days have been closer to 65°F (18.3°C) when we start walking at 4:45 am.

We are finding fewer interesting things, which may be due to the heat. But some things never change.

Okay, the guy slipped from Marlboro to Camels, but he did toss in a Bic lighter along with the unsmoked cigarettes.

You’ve heard of Sonic the Hedgehog.

We found Sonic the Hexapod. Guess he grew two more legs to run faster. “Gotta Go!”

An unopened protein bar.

Although we could use the protein, you never know its history. Some evil villain might have sucked all the protein out of it and let us starve to death.

We like to find money, but today we found a McDonald’s gift card.

We checked it, and it is worth $15 in prepaid saturated fat. And we can start rebuilding our ketchup reserve — one packet at a time.

Here’s an ugly start to a morning.

Someone took a dump at the Tolt Pipeline construction site. Really? There is an unlocked Honey Bucket forty feet away. Or maybe it was a commentary on the amount that taxpayers are paying for this. Either way, bad form.

A knife by the side of the road.

Clearly, someone brought a knife to a food fight.. Probably went up against a frozen lasagna. Rookie move.

Lies My Teacher Told Me

Evidently, one was, “you’ll need this book someday.” Spoiler alert: They didn’t.

A training token collectible.

If you find two more, you get a free belt level. Yellow belt only, though.

We found over forty clothing tags scattered down the street.

Apparently, someone went on a shopping spree. No receipts, no regrets, and no returns.

What the…

We picked up a pen from Gesa Credit Union and immediately thought, What obscure cow town did this come from? Never heard of it. Must be one of those places with one stoplight and a diner called “Mom’s.” We checked.

Oops.

Turns out there’s a Gesa branch inside the Safeway we walk past three times a week, and shop at even more. Apparently, we’re not just out of the loop; we’ve been circling it repeatedly. Maybe we should return the pen.

We found this tiny plastic hand by the road. At first, we thought it was a cheerful toy wave.

Then we realized it was reaching for something. Something it lost. Probably the rest of its body. Suddenly, it all made sense.

This wasn’t a toy. This was the Toyminator.

Someone finally let go of their emotional baggage and left it on the curb.

Judging from the floral design, it was a gift from his ex, the kind that thinks, ‘I can change you after we’re married.’ He didn’t. And didn’t take his luggage, either.

Ah, election time again. The Bothell and Kirkland elections are relatively tame.

But the Woodinville elections? Not so much. There always seems to be a lot of drama.

A spread-out yard sale.

A utility table with wobbly legs, not able to make a run for it,
a futon so small it should really be called a “foot-on,”
and a patio chair by the Tolt Pipeline — ideal for watching the weeds reach their full potential.

We found a sturdy plastic bag on the sidewalk.

“This bag can be reused as many times as you choose.” This guy chose “none.”

What a waste.

A while back, we found a combination padlock shown on the left in the above photo. By watching some YouTube videos, we were able to determine the combination and reset it to ‘1-2-3-4’ until we can find a use for it. Today, we found the one on the right that someone without the combination destroyed the lock to get it open. Did they even try ‘1-2-3-4’?

We picked up a small bottle of essential oil, no longer feeling essential.

The peppermint oil was fully grounded, spiritually, emotionally, and also, physically, on the pavement. Once meant to clear minds and energy fields, it’s now providing aromatherapy to our trash bags.

We picked up a wad of paper. When we unwrapped it, we found,

We have found several of these notes, mostly crumpled on the ground like this one. The best one was a similar one from an apartment. Below, the perp scribbled, “No.” Then crumpled it and tossed it on the ground.

In the construction area, this is what happens when you try to bring a squirt gun to a steam roller fight.

On the bright side, it’s now Washington-compliant.

Two empty 4000-gram canisters of Nitrous Oxide.

Seventeen pounds. Either someone’s planning the world’s largest whipped cream party… or they just laughed their neurons into early retirement.

This was in the driveway of the apartments on Woodinville Drive.

Nothing says ‘luxury apartments’ like a half-destroyed elderly rodent inviting you in.

A once-proud Tachikara volleyball.

Even Wilson from Cast Away had a better retirement plan.

With that, we wrap up not one, but two weeks of TrashWalking, our inventory:

94 Cents.

10 Tools.

A bungee cord, a wire brush, a drill extension, two drill bits, two socket extensions, and a roll of tape. And yes, the tape could get a bit sticky with judges. The item in the center is a phone SIM card removal tool, basically a glorified paper clip. Finally, the item at the bottom right is a Pittsburgh Automatic Center Punch, but it has been run over, and the end cap is gone, losing the punch heads. So, frankly, it’s lost its punch.

7 Pairs of glasses.

All but two were smashed, unsafe safety glasses, but these two were interesting. First, a pair of Bomber sunglasses that go for about seventy bucks online. But there was an earpiece missing, so make it thirty-five bucks. Also, a pair with all the pieces. Some assembly required.

3 Articles of clothing.

One half of a pair of flip-flops. This one is the flip. A Ugg kid’s boot, no reflection on the kid. The cap is a Lincoln Electric Welder’s beanie. It’s probably fireproof, but we didn’t check.

• 94 Cents.
• 15 Balls.
• 10 Tools.
• 7 Roadkill including three rabbits, 2 rats, and 2 crows.
• 4 Glasses.
• 3 Articles of clothing.
• 2 Laughing canisters.
• 1 Sonic the Hexapod.
• 1 Fifteen-dollar McDonalds gift card.
• 1 Lost, losing knife.
• 1 Lying book.
• 1 Yellow belt boost token.
• 1 Purloined credit union pen.
• 1 Toyminator arm.
• 1 Excess baggage.
• 1 Multi-use, single used bag.
• 1 Lock, sawn, but not picked.
• 1 Mickey Mouse welcome mat.
• 1 Retired Volleyball.
• 1 Washington State compliant handgun.

Have a great week, and don’t believe everything you read on the Internet or that your teacher told you.