Promiscuous Smurfs?

Sunday, April 19th, 2020 – New Route, Second Time

We normally have our alarm set for 5:00 am to start our walks.  Our Sunday walks are temporary, due to the Coronavirus, so we decided we would sleep in until we awoke.  We started our walk at 5:35 am.  So much for sleeping in.

But the early bird get’s the worm.  We found a dime! 20200419-8But one of us, we won’t say which, somehow lost it.  She really needs to be more careful with our hard-earned findings.

We found a very nice, clean baseball that would have been a welcome addition to our ball collection. 20200419-10 But, it probably came over a nearby fence and we tossed it back.  Guess that’s the way the ball bounces.  If you don’t like our puns, we’ll take our ball and go home.  Sheesh.  

Uh-oh, another broken mirror.  Seven years of bad luck.  20200419-7“Objects in Mirror are closer than they appear.”  Obviously.

We found a full bottle of vaping oil. 20200419-2Salt Bae Juicy Watermelon.  On their website it costs $22 for 25ml.  For 50ml, it’s also $22.  Perhaps they’ve been using a little too much of their own product.

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve picked up on of these.  20200419-4Someone tossed their baby’s used diaper, someone who should not be procreating.  If you are the one who tossed the diaper, “procreating” means “having sex without a condom.”  Example:  20200419-1The folks who tossed this are NOT procreating.  We hope.  

We found the remains of what looks like an old bicycle accident.  20200419-3A chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link.  This one must have had several.

Someone lost their hotel key card.  20200419-9And if we present it at the Outback Restaurant, we get a free blooming onion with the purchase of an entrée.  But wait, the telephone number is for a Quality Inn in Yakima, a long way away.  And we’ve had an Outback blooming onion and it is an entree to us.  Pass.

More signs.  20200419-6We found this sign and had to carry it home.  People kept honking and waving at us, but really, we’re not single.  We’re double.  We tried to contact the website, but there was no answer.  Evidently everyone in Kenmore are spoken for.  Good for them.

The Houses For Sale from last week were still there.  20200419-5

But we uncovered a “We Buy Houses” sign.  These guys should get together and leave us alone.  It would be much better for the environment.


Monday, April 20th, 2020 – Safeway Route

This morning was cool without rain.  The traffic seemed to be a little heavier than the new normal, but still very light.

We didn’t find any money today, but we did find two baseballs.  20200420-1

Well, a toy baseball and a real baseball.  Is “toy baseball” redundant?  We don’t know if it was redundant, but it was rejected from our ball collection.  The real baseball, on the other hand, was in good condition and didn’t have an obvious home so did get accepted into our ball collection.  We keep our eye on the ball.  Not everyone gets into our collection.

Another ball? 20200420-3No, a black balloon.  Who buys black balloons?  Someone celebrating another month of Coronavirus lockdown?

So the property on Norway Hill that put up a fence and posted a Private Property sign added two more signs.  20200420-2Paraphrasing, both signs say, “Dear Neighbors stay the hell off our land.”  Being respectful neighbors, we will not pick up any trash that other more disrespectful neighbors toss on their land.  Well, we probably will.  We can’t help ourselves, but we’ll grumble about it.

We found a unique marijuana package.  20200420-4Their website describes it as “Flavors: citrus, sweet, skunk.”  You got us sold.  There is no aroma we like better than roadkill skunk.  We can’t even imagine what flavor a skunk might be.

Shouldn’t there be a “Free” sign? 20200420-5And yes, we did try to check for change under the cushion.  But, the cushion was gone.  As was one armrest and the backrest.


Tuesday, April 21st, 2020 – Park-and-Ride Route

Traffic was lighter today as was the trash.  And the park-and-ride was as clean as we’ve ever seen it.  We did pick up many cigarette butts and several several gloves including this one.    20200421-3Maybe someone is upset at us for picking up gloves?  Or perhaps a general comment on the whole pandemic.

We found another ball newly uncovered by the mowers.  20200421-2This one’s been here for a while.

Someone won big at the casino.  20200421-1Fifty-nine cents!  If we found fifty-nine cents it would be a big deal.  We are not gamblers and haven’t been to a casino in twenty years, so we had to do some research on cashout vouchers.

Evidently, say you play a slot machine and after putting in forty dollar bills to play, you finally win a jackpot of twenty dollars.  When you’re finished you push a button and get this voucher.  Then you take it to a kiosk to cash it in.  Where’s the satisfaction in that?  We liked the sound of four-hundred nickels rattling into the coin tray.   Yes, we stuck to nickel slots.  We may have put in a quarter a few times, but rarely.  Anyway, reading the fine print, these vouchers have expired.  Too bad, we were ready to jump in the car.


Wednesday, April 22nd, 2020 – Safeway Route

The weather has turned rainy, but still warm in the 40s.  We are found a lot of cigarette butts and wet wipes, but little interesting trash.  With the lack of traffic, there has been very few roadkill.  However, today we removed a large rat and a squirrel from the road.

This was a first for us, we found a cup.    20200422-2We’ve found random sports equipment and clothing, but this  is the first athletic cup we’ve found.  On Amazon, it’s described as, “Protective Athletic Cup is designed to provide protection for boys who refuse to wear a hard athletic cup due to discomfort.”  Maybe he learned why he should wear a hard cup.

We found two balls.  20200422-1No, not the kind that go with our previous find, a tennis ball and a small soccer ball.  The tennis ball was ratty but outside the KinderCare fence, so we tossed it back.  The soccer ball had a run-in with the weed mower.  It needed a hard cup.

And that’s how boring today’s walk was.


Thursday, April 23rd, 2020 – Park-and-Ride Route

This morning was overcast, warm and without rain.  Not a bad walk.  At the park-and-ride, we found six empty Coors cans, so they are still bar-hopping in the park-and-ride.

We also found money.  20200423-1Eleven cents!  The dime was at a bus stop and the penny was in the gutter on Juanita-Woodinville Way.  We always spend a few minutes checking to see if there are other coins nearby, but we seldom find any.  We understand the dime at the bus stop dropping out of someone’s pocket, but how does a single coin, or multiple coins for that matter, end up in the gutter by the side of the road?  We don’t get it.  Actually, we did get it and it’s in our found money jar.

We have found a few Harley-Davidson Motorcycle parts and some day hope to be able to assemble one.  20200423-7But this broken key chain won’t help.  Wait, we just noticed that Harley-Davidson is misspelling motorcycles as two words, Motor Cycles.  Perhaps we don’t want a Harley-Davidson.  Vespa?

Another Nerf bullet.  20200423-6More Nerf Gang activity.  Finding these, we’re starting to a feel a bit less safe on our walks.  We may start wearing an extra undershirt for protection.

We found a broken apparatus.    20200423-3The broken, round piece of plastic is a cover of come kind.  The wire with a loop goes through the center of the cover and ends with a crossbar.  In the center of the cover, not shown, is a thumb screw to lock the wire in place.  So it appears to be a wire to adjust the level of the crossbar, but we have no reason why?  If you recognize this, let us know.

We found another ball.  20200423-5Actually, we’ve found this dog ball four times outside this yard and we always throw it back.  Perhaps it’s time we checked to see if they have a dog?

We found a hair band.  20200423-2In another month of lockdown, Chuck can use this for his pony tail.

If Sean Connery as Zed in Zardoz can do it,  20200423-8 so can Chuck.  Uh, no!

Ah, the signs of Spring.  20200423-4

After a long dry spell, we found two needles close to one-another.   We have a full mayonnaise jar of needles, so started another jar and decided we should get rid of the full one.  So we went to the King County site and searched.  Enter the world of bureaucracy.

  • Are you commercial or private?
    • Private
  • Did you find it on public or private property?
    • Generally public
  • Do you want to know about the needle exchange program that provide more needles for you to pick up?
    • No, we’ve picked up plenty.
  • Was it found within the city of Seattle?
    • No
      • Go somewhere else to dispose of them.


Friday, April 24th, 2020 – Safeway Route

Today we found neither dog poop bags nor gloves.  Very strange.  We did find some dog poop without a bag and bags without poop.  20200424-3Go figure.

We found another ball to toss back over the fence into the KinderCare playground.  20200424-2Their accountant is probably wondering why they are underrunning their tennis ball budget.

We found another quarter today.  20200424-1This one was on Juanita-Woodinville Way near Safeway.  We’ve done well with money this week with ten cents on Monday, eleven cents yesterday and now this.  We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

We found another balloon that decided to land in the middle of some brambles.  20200424-6We carefully coaxed it out of the thorns, then gutted it with the knife so it would fit in our bag.

At the Tolt Pipeline on top of Norway Hill we found some hair coloring.  20200424-4L’Oreal 1-Day hair color.  Blue.  Blue hair coloring.  Ok, we get the blue hair fad, well, we understand it.  About thirty feet away, we found a blue condom?  20200424-5Wonder if it glows in the dark?  Blue hair? Blue condoms?  Are we the only ones with disturbing images of Smurfs in our head?  Actually, we aren’t.  “Smurfette Is A Communist Whore.”  He does have a point.


Saturday, April 25th, 2020 – Riverside Drive

Saturdays mark the end of our walking week and we tally the number of gloves and dog-poop bags we found.  202004254-1This week we found twenty-two gloves and eight bags, about half of last week’s tally.  The difference is probably that weather was worse this week, cooler and wetter.  Gee, we can’t wait for the weather to get really good.

We did find more money today.  202004254-5A quarter under the freeway and two pennies on the I405 southbound off-ramp to Juanita-Woodinville Way.  It was a pretty good week with sixty-three cents.  It would have been seventy-three cents if someone had not lost her dime.

We found another painted rock.  202004254-12But only one.  Perhaps they are losing interest or running out of paint.  We did move it about thirty feet, but didn’t put much effort into hiding it.  We’re losing interest also.

Recycling a basketball hoop?    202004254-11Plus the stand, pole and backboard.  They might be able to fit it in a recycle bin if they disassemble it with a Sawzall, but it’s certainly not a slam-dunk.

We are seeing more of these signs posted.  202004254-10

It’s a scam and they sense that some folks might be hurting for money.  There are some legitimate businesses that do this but they don’t put up signs on telephone poles.  They hook a person in by promising a quick turn-around at a good price.  Then they come inspect the property and start listing everything they need to do to make the home sellable, driving the price down.  When they find someone distressed enough to bite, they pay the owner, do minimal cosmetic fixes to the home and sell it at a profit.

Look up the number on google with quotes.  If it’s a legitimate, you’ll find the number.  This one isn’t.  BTW, the sign is no longer on the pole.

A small, home-made, animal doll.  202004254-8 This was the good side.  It was missing an eye and it’s head was hanging by a thread.  Literally.  We’re guessing it’s a sheep because it was covered with wool.

Someone got their chain yanked. 202004254-14 It was only a foot long but heavy.    

At the nearly-empty park-and-ride, we found a parking spot with a several wadded-up facial tissues.  As we were picking up the last of it, this fell out.  202004254-3A condom wrapper.  As we were emptying our trash bag at home, we noticed the used condom was in one of the other wads.  Someone else using the park-and-ride for the wrong kind of ride.

The freeway on and off ramps gave up some treasures.  The earlier two pennies were found there as well as this necklace.  202004254-4It is in very good condition.  “AmorAime 925 Sterling Silver Heart Necklace Cubic Zirconia Love Knot.”  $25 on Amazon.

We found this case on the off ramp.  202004254-7It was made of good, heavy-duty leather with a belt clip on one side.  It turned out to be an “Aker Leather 503 Bikini Handcuff Case”, $23 on Amazon.      

And finally, near where the guy sits with his guitar on nice days, we found this.  202004254-6Cut-up pepperoni.  For us?  You shouldn’t have.  And we didn’t.  We’re guessing some good Samaritan gave it to the guitar player and he left them.  We didn’t, we took them.  Janet was carrying them.  Better make sure they ended up in the garbage.


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