We Like Money

Monday, April 3rd, 2023 – Safeway

We are beginning to think Winter will never end. The temperature this morning was 35°F (1.7°C), still above freezing, but they were predicting the possibility of rain, snow or hail. We got a little of each during the day, but not while walking and nothing significant. Still, when is Winter going to end?

We made up for the cold by finding money!

And we are talking real money. Janet found a twenty-dollar bill at the bottom of the Tolt Pipeline. Later, Chuck spotted a penny at Safeway. Janet doesn’t find all the money. Chuck still has a chance to catch up, but at a penny a day, it’s a pretty slim chance.

Someone littered an empty dog treat bag.

“Train-Me! Training Rewards.” What? Are you training your dog to litter like you? Are you also training it to toss their own poop bags?

We found a lost tailpipe.

Probably blown off due to the banana-in-the-tailpipe trick.

Okay, Janet found a lot of money today, but we did find a roadkill.

It was a small bird next to some animal poop in the middle of the road. We are not sure what the story is. Either a coyote pooped in the middle of the road and later a bird got engrossed in it and got run over. Or another possibility is the bird became overloaded with poop, made an emergency landing in the road and exploded. Choose your own ending. Either way, Janet removed the roadkill and Chuck removed the poop. Go figure, Chuck normally removes the roadkill.

Tuesday, April 4th, 2023 – Park-and-Ride

Today’s walk was about the same as yesterday in all aspects except for the amount of money we found.

Only five pennies at the park-and-ride. We took it, but we really appreciate the folding kind of money. Only because it weighs less to carry, of course.

We found a tool.

A bicephalic bungee cord with one of its heads missing.

And, therefore, not counted as a tool. Bicephalic means having two heads, so all bungee cords are bicephalic. There are some animals that can have two heads, snakes, for example.

One source states that “they often do not survive in the wild because their two heads may have difficulty coordinating their movements and may not be able to capture prey effectively.” Yes, and they probably bite themselves.

At the top of the Tolt Pipeline, we periodically walk another hundred yards up the pipeline trail to the end to see if anyone has left any trash.

Okay, it says the trail ends, but it continues down the hill. It is maintained by volunteers, not the city or county, so the “Trail Ends” sign is really an continue-at-your-own-risk sign. Anyway, we found some random trash and a nice tee-shirt.

It will get washed and put in the Goodwill pile. We have no idea why someone would forget their shirt here. There were no condoms or anything.

Wednesday, April 5th, 2023 – Safeway and 100th Ave NE

It was colder this morning dropping down to 31°F (-0.6°C). No money and no roadkill. But some young guy asked for Janet’s phone number.

Chuck was miffed, why hadn’t the guy asked for Chuck’s number? We have talked to him before. He is the pastor of a church we pass on Juanita-Woodinville Way and said he would like to invite us to lunch. Sure, we’ll buy the first beer.


We have been walking this route for almost eight years now. Nobody closes our sidewalk. We walked through their work zone. We are anarchists, you know.

Thursday, April 6th, 2023 – 160th to 124th Street

Today warmed up considerably to 44°F (6.7°C) which made us more comfortable but failed to add anything to make this day more interesting. No money and no roadkill, but plenty of trash.

This is not a good thing to lose on the freeway onramp.

A disc brake pad. Stopping anywhere soon? Oh, give us a break, this isn’t great material.

We did find another urine bottle.

It looks a bit anemic, but we really don’t give a piss.

A lesson: how to smash a plastic vodka bottle. As Chuck was finishing up his walk, he spotted a beer can down a gully. As is often the case, on his way down to retrieve it, he came across a plastic vodka bottle.

It was about halfway to the beer can and instead of putting it into his recycle bag, he tossed it over his shoulder up the bank.

But it overshot the bank, and he heard it skip onto the roadway. As he continued down to the beer can, he heard the vodka bottle roll as a car went by.

Chuck reached the beer can and put it in his bag.

However, there was a McDonalds Coke cup farther down.

As he was heading down to picked it up, another vehicle came by, and he heard the vodka bottle skipping along the pavement. Seeing no other trash, he headed back up the hill.

When he reached the road, he saw the vodka bottle by the side of the road.

And that’s how to smash a plastic vodka bottle.

Friday, April 7th, 2023 – 100th Ave NE

This morning was again 44°F (6.7°C), but it rained for the entire walk. It wasn’t too bad except everything we picked up was waterlogged. We removed two rats and a mole from the roads, but we found money. As we approached a street across from Safeway, there was some trash in the intersection. In the middle of the trash was six cents.

The same thing happened last week with a dollar bill in some trash. Okay, we will continue to pick up trash as long as people tip well. After all, we make very little in our TrashWalking wages and depend on tips.

A cigarette brand we were not aware of.

After some searching, they are from the Skookum Creek Tobacco Company. It is on the Squaxin Island Tribe Reservation located on, you guessed it, Squaxin Island in the south Puget Sound. There aren’t many hits on Google for the cigarettes. One of the few was on Tumblr.

Guess whoever tossed the pack we found agreed.

We almost saw a collision on 112th Ave NE.

It was close,

but the salamander just missed the earthworm.  Kind of like the Hare and the Tortoise.

It’s Friday, time to check out Chuck’s vest pocket.

This week’s cards are a rewards card for a Finish Line sports clothing store, and a Washington State food stamp card. On the state’s website, “It’s important to note that the Quest Card can only be used to purchase eligible food items and other approved items. It cannot be used to purchase non-food items, such as tobacco, alcohol, or household supplies.” Right, that leaves your money for the tobacco and alcohol.

A laminated business card for Stephen Howell, a photographer whose company is “Rock International Playboy.” We found one of this guy’s cards before and Chuck was intrigued with the company name until it was determined he specializes in photographing rock bands.

A referee’s sports whistle. Your guess is as good as ours as to which sport it is used for. Also, a brush of some type. Perhaps a makeup brush or a fingerprint brush. Maybe both.

We have often fantasized of being able to fingerprint or use DNA to find the trash perpetrators, but somehow, we don’t think the police would work with us on it.

Some kid lost his notes for a speech.

The speech is about the best car, the Honda Civic to modify. It is also the most stolen car in the U.S. Is there a connection?

Finally, two things found on the freeway ramp.

A sticky note and a photograph. The note is signed “xxxccc”, but we expected “xxxooo.” One theory for the meaning of these is that the “x” looks like puckered lips, and therefore represents a kiss. Similarly, the “o” looks like arms wrapped around someone in a hug. Perhaps the “ccc” is a personal code for handcuffs. That was too kinky for the guy, so he tossed the note and picture.

Saturday, April 8th, 2023 – Riverside Drive

It was again the same temperature today, 44°F (6.7°C), but without the rain. It made for a pleasant walk. We removed a rabbit and a small bird from the road, but found money.

A quarter in the Bothell parking lot. This turned out to be a very good money week. Have we mentioned we like money?

On the road down the hill to Riverside Drive, another urine bottle.

Someone should market biodegradable urine bottles for people like they do poop bags for dogs. Based on our recent experiences, they need poop bags for people also.

Speaking of which, there is a rock retaining wall by the apartments. Dog walkers routinely leave their dog poop bags in the crevasses.

Lately, we have seen bags that include toilet paper. Across the street there are a couple of old RVs with people living in them. Is there a connection?

At the Bothell parking lot, someone dumped a piece of furniture near the dumpsters.

Nobody is allowed to use the dumpsters for their personal trash. Well except us, of course.

A bunch of garbage for us to clean up.

It included eggshells, water bottles, diapers, cups, etc. But no tip.

Notice that balloons have fallen out of the news? Or maybe shot out of the news?

Balloons like this used to be fun to talk about. Now we just feel deflated.

Another tossed pack of cigarettes.

We recognize this brand. Whoever tossed this pack must be serious about quitting. They dumped their lighter too.

We found a rake under the freeway.

Too bad we did not find it earlier. We could have used it to rake in all the money we found. What? You’re going to rake us over the coals for that pun? Actually, we were proud of our find and felt a bit rakish for the rest of our walk. Had enough?

An unopened Stouffer’s Bowl-Fulls Slow-Roasted Steak & Potatoes.

Chuck was going to put it in a nearby garbage can, but Janet said she would carry it home and separate it out into the yard waste bin. Janet has a reputation for not letting food go to waste. Chuck made a note to himself to check the yard waste.

Someone was screwing around on Riverside Drive.

We found a condom and its wrapper. They were about 200 yards apart by the side of the road. The guy is either very quick, or a slow driver.

Then, we saw this.

A couch by the railroad tracks. Someone’s trying to be comfortable waiting for the train. They better be, they missed it by about twenty years.

That’s it for this week. Our inventory:

  • 20 Dollars and 37 Cents. This is the most we have found since September 2021.
  • 7 Mike’s Hard Lemonade cans. Whoa, we are way down on these. We wouldn’t mind these going away.
  • 3 Balls
  • 5 Roadkill.
  • 2 Urine bottles.
  • 1 Lunch invitation.
  • 1 Racing salamander.
  • 1 Vodka bottle, smashed.
  • 1 Package of bad cigarettes, though we are taking someone’s word for that.
  • 1 Sports whistle, soccer.

Have a great week and remember, in a race between a worm and a salamander, bet on the salamander.

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