Votes for Women

Monday, April 17th, 2023 – Safeway

What a surprise. We got hailed on this morning as pillars of the community. No, that’s a lie. We got hailed on, but it was still a surprise. The temperature this morning was 35°F (1.7°C) and the forecast was for rain with a possibility of hail. But for us it was hail with a possibility of rain. Winter just seems to not give up.

Maybe this is an omen.

We found an anti-freeze faucet cover. Are they trying to tell us something?

Other than the hail, it was a nice walk, but we found no money and removed a roadkill squirrel. So, other than the hail, it was an uneventful walk.

We picked up this parking receipt.

The idiot. It clearly states to “Display on Dash,” not on the curb. We hope they got a parking ticket.

We found a ball with no apparent home.

It’s obviously a pet’s birthday present. The dog probably had no idea it was his birthday and why everyone was being especially nice to him. Imagine the thoughts going through his head, “Why are they suddenly being so kind me? Are they putting me up for adoption? Are they putting me down? Am I going to be neutered? Oh, nooooooo! [howling] Ooh! Look at that moon.”

Tuesday, April 18th, 2023 – Park-and-Ride

This was wet and blustery 37°F (2.8°C) morning. We were well bundled up against the weather, so it wasn’t too bad for us. However, the day was very uneventful. No money, no roadkill, no balls, and no Mike’s cans. There is one house that has two dogs that sit in a window and bark at us as we pass. Today there was only one dog, and it was sleeping, and you should always let sleeping dogs lie. So, all around a very mundane walk.

The one thing picked up was another discarded can of whipping cream.

It was about half full, so why toss out a perfectly-good can of whipped cream? The obvious reason is you don’t need it anymore, but why throw it away on the road? Probably because you used it in the car which points to some nonfood use which could point to some sexual activity, and yes, we’ve been here before.

So, we Google-searched for “whipped cream and sex.” The first hit was an article, “Whipped Cream, Baby Oil, and 6 Other Things You Should Never Use as Lube.” Interestingly, this is under Yahoo Sports. We need to pay more attention to Yahoo Sports. Wonder when the playoffs start?

Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 – Safeway and 100th Ave NE

Wow. This is turning into one of the most mundane weeks we have had. Today was still cold and wet, but the wind died down. We found no money and came across no roadkill. We did find two balls at the KinderCare, but that was about it.

Well, there was the breakfast burrito near Safeway.

At least it looks like a burrito, but we didn’t dissect it. We find lots of discarded food, but this one was on a real plate. The plate was unmarked and unusually heavy, even without the burrito, so may have been from a restaurant. “I’ll have a breakfast burrito to go.” “Yes sir, will there be anything else?” “Yes, I’ll take the plate too.” This guy must be busy. He has a lot on his plate.

Thursday, April 20th, 2023 – 160th to 124th Street

This morning was cold again, but mostly dry. Again, no money and no roadkill, but we did score in the tools category.

A very nice 7/16th-inch socket and a so-so putty knife. Yes, the putty knife looks like it had a rough night and got plastered.

There was also another tool on the freeway onramp.

A Titan inspection mirror, but without the mirror. If the mirror was still attached, it would be worth about $14 on Amazon. Now? About 14 cents.

Somehow, James’ pills got lost on Norway Hill.

They were amphetamine/dextroamphetamine used to treat ADHD and narcolepsy. So, we understand why the bottle was dropped. Well, hopefully from not paying attention and not falling asleep.

Friday, April 21st, 2023 – 100th Ave NE

It finally warmed into the forties this morning, barely. It was 42°F (5.6°C) and breezy, but no rain. We’ll take it. We’ll also take the money we found today.

A penny at the gas station and a quarter on Simonds Road. Both were shiny and not run over. Of course, we would take them anyway. It just makes cents.

We also found a tool of sorts.

A Wartech hunting knife.

Twenty-five bucks at Big 5 Sports. Not bad. Now we need to take up hunting.

Or we can pretend to hunt. All we need is some fake blood and we found this.

An unopened bottle of ketchup. The bottle is a little scuffed up from being tossed, but that will just add to a rugged hunting experience.

At the KinderCare, it appears they had an inmate riot.

A bunch of toys were tossed over the fence. We don’t know what caused the riot. Shorter naps? Better toys? Who knows? But this is as bad as we have seen it. Well, except for the occasional severed doll heads.

It’s Friday, time to check out the accumulation in Chuck’s vest pocket.

A warning note to someone who infringed on another’s parking space. This was probably placed on the car’s windshield. So, like a parking ticket if you drive fast enough it flies off and never existed. Then, there was a post-it note.

After some research, we found these are recording artists. Zach Bryan is an Electropop and Country musician whose debut album is “American Heartbreak.” “Bo exotic” is a song by the artist Turbo from the album “Cocaine & Fireworks.” And “In Hell I’ll be in Good Company” is a song by the group “Dead South” from their album “Good Company.” We did listen to music from all three on YouTube and it sounded pretty good to us. But then again, Weird Al Yankovic sounded good to us.

Continuing, we found Tammy’s Covid Vaccination card. We wouldn’t toss it so quick. Arly’s Washington Services card, another social services card. And Steven’s Titan Electric worksite identification card to work on a store in Boise Idaho.

A tag from a Jesse James Concealed Carry handbag. Yeah, what about a concealed litter handbag?

A car cigarette lighter USB charger. Like how many cars have a cigarette lighter anymore? And like, that’s why we found this by the side of the road.

A KitKat bar, but it was upside-down, so we tossed it.

A pencil that looked good but was broken. Trashed. Two earrings, but unfortunately they didn’t match.

Not surprising, though, they were found in two parking lots two miles apart.

Another hair band with some of the owner’s hair included, another Washington State Lottery scratch and lose coin, a pair of butterfly wings without the butterfly, and another lost sunglasses lens. Don’t give up hope! The sun will return. We think.

Finally, a couple of doll parts. A small guy with no legs.

And a leg.

No, we don’t think the two belong together, but this should give us a leg up this week. Or maybe we don’t have two legs to stand on.

Saturday, April 22nd, 2023 – Riverside Drive

This morning warmed up to 46°F (7.8°C) with no rain. It made for a nice walk. We didn’t find any money and removed a squirrel from the roadway. There was a lot of little trash.

And some big trash also.

We found these hidden under the freeway on both sides of the road. Whoever left them took pains to place them out of sight, but we found them, unfortunately. But why bother to hide them? Just toss them like everyone else. Anyway, they are relatively heavy so we will contact the city for pickup. The bags, not us.

On Woodinville Drive near the homeless campers, we picked up a dog-poop bag with toilet paper in it.

Wow, are people wiping their dog’s butts now?

Another lost Toyota wheel cover.

Scratch that. It’s a Subaru wheel cover. We should start keeping score, but we know Toyota would win hands down. Or wheel covers down.

A few weeks ago, we reported on a freeway exit sign that looked like it just fell over. Today we found WSDOT had fixed it.

And left a bunch of parts. What the heck. We have enough idiots dumping refuse on the roadways, we wouldn’t expect it of WSDOT workers. Or would we?

This guy went the extra mile to litter.

Okay, maybe only a yard.

Finally, today we found two separate spoons, one in the first pile of trash we found today and another later in a plastic bag with some unidentified food. We put them in our bag and dumped them out when we got home, and guess what? You might want to avert your eyes.

Yes, they were spooning.

With that, we wrap our ho-hum walking week. Our inventory:

  • 26 Cents, a penny, and a quarter with Nina Otero-Warren on it.
  • 10 Mike’s Hard Lemonade cans. Down again.
  • 7 Balls, including a Happy Birthday.
  • 2 Roadkill, both squirrels.
  • 2 Spooning spoons.
  • 1 Breakfast burrito.
  • 1 Hunting knife, colorful.
  • 1 Leg up.

Have a great week and who is Nina Otero-Warren anyway?

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