Playboy vs. Trojans

Monday, March 29th, 2021 – Safeway

After a blustery night including rain, thunder and hail, this morning was cold and clear with a slight breeze. As we started out our fingers were very cold, but as our blood circulation picked up we got more comfortable. We did remove a rabbit from Juanita-Woodinville Way.

We were walking at a brisk pace picking up the odd paper bag, beer can and cigarette butt when we started to pick up random pieces of yellow plastic. As we approached the 7Eleven on Juanita-Woodinville Way, the pieces of plastic became more dense and took a lot of time to pick up. Then we saw the source.

A large plastic lid had been lost and run over multiple times. The lid looks green, but it’s reflecting the traffic light. It took about fifteen minutes to clean up the mess including walking the lid across the street to the 7Eleven dumpster.

At the secluded parking spot at Safeway, we found two needle caps.

We didn’t find the needles, but we’re pretty sure they were only dropped by a couple of diabetics just hanging out at Safeway.

Baseball season is here and we found four home run balls!

They were outside a backyard fences along the street. Probably dad is teaching the kid to play. We should have had the kid autograph them, but we tossed them back. They might have been worth a lot of money in twenty years.

We found an unopened pack of Marlboros.

We put it with the other unopened packs we’ve found. We also have a jar full of unsmoked single cigarettes. That makes an even 20 packs and the estimated other 5 packs in the jar amounts to 25 packs. At an average price of six dollars per pack, that’s, let’s see, six times five, is zero, carry the three… well, a lot of money.

Past Safeway while it was still dark, we found a wad of chewed gum. It was large and spongey. When we got home sorting out the trash, we got a better look.

It was a condom. Oh, hell no! Trojan Chewing Gum? The slogans are already running through our heads. We may need to give up our avocation.

Tuesday, March 30th, 2021 – Park-and-Ride

This morning was again, cold and clear, and uncomfortable until the sun arrived.

Another lost hubcap.

It was a nice metal one, but had been run over and bent. Recycled.

Another unopened beer for us at the Park-and-Ride.

But only one this time, so we had to share.

Last week we found a bungee cord but lost one of the hooks during our walk so we tossed it.

Today, we found the hook we lost. It figures.

Well, we’re hosed.

Someone dumped a long garden hose on a street corner. We did find a site describing “33+ Genius Uses For Old Garden Hoses.” Our favorite is,

“Fire Pit Rainbow – Cut into pieces, place the copper tube inside, throw in a bonfire and watch [as] the color is turned to blue green purple it’s beautiful…”

Ah, the aroma of a burning rubber.

A bunch of lost nails waiting for a tire to come along.

We scooped them into an extra bag and hauled them home, all 5.2 pounds of them. We nailed it.

Wednesday, March 31st, 2021 – Safeway

Today was a warmer 40°F (4.5°C) with a breeze that made it a bit uncomfortable. We did find money that made up for it.

It didn’t make up for much.

Wow! Another tennis/dog ball.

We only have about a hundred of these now. And we don’t play tennis and don’t have a dog.

Someone did leave us an unopened bag of snacks to share.

We’d have preferred another beer.

The results are in.

People prefer one Playboy condom over four Trojan condoms. The Trojan’s were unopened. We did not find the used condom. Perhaps the guy liked it so much he wore it home.

Thursday, April 1st, 2021 – 160th to 124th Street

The weather was clear, 42°F (5.5°C) with no breeze, a comfortable walk. We removed a fat, roadkill rat from the street.

More balls.

This time a skinless tennis ball and a dented ping pong ball. Neither made it to our ball collection. We can be merciless at times.

More unopened food for us.

Water this time. Thanks, but again, we prefer beer.

At a bus stop, someone must have been interrupted by the arrival of the bus and had to drop everything.

Toothbrush, e-cigarette and mascara. The mascara is L’Oreal Voluminous Superstar.

It has two brushes, one is a primer and the other is the paint. Those are our terms. From the L’Oreal marketing department:

Step 1: Apply Super-volumizing primer, making sure to coat every lash.

Step 2: Then, before the primer dries, apply the fiber-rich Mascara on top of the primed lashes to create a show-stopping lash look.

Repeat on other eye.

What if you miss a lash in the first step? And what if you don’t want to repeat on the other eye?

Friday, April 2nd, 2021 – 100th Ave NE

Today’s weather was similar to yesterday, warmish and comfortable. No money and we needed to remove a rabbit and a very large opossum from the road.

Today we found tools.

A blurry socket bit, we won’t say who, but one of us needs to brush up on her photo skills. We also found an unblurry socket bit, a socket extension and a 1/16th-inch Stanley punch. The punch had been run over and the coating was damaged, but the punch part was still straight and undamaged so it still packs a punch. And that is the punch line.

Chuck found an interesting tee shirt at a bus stop.

After we got home, Chuck spent some time researching the shirt on the Internet and found it was celebrating a 2008 wine from the Mark Ryan Winery called Vincent after an old motorcycle brand.

Proudly, Chuck told Janet about what he’d discovered about the shirt. She replied, “Yes, I looked at the shirt. Mark Ryan also makes a wine called the ‘Chief.’ It’s a very good winery.” Janet knows wines. Chuck does not.

Saturday, April 3rd, 2021 – Riverside Drive & Brickyard Road

Now this is more like it. We needed to remove a roadkill rabbit from the road under the freeway, but we did find more money.

A penny imbedded in the street tar. It took a couple of minutes to extract it. And later, toward the end of our walk, a quarter. So overall, we are happy. However, the rabbit did take two trips to remove.

At the start of our walk, we picked up a leash.

So how do you lose a leash? If your dog is not with you, why carry the leash? If your dog is with you, shouldn’t it be tied to the leash?

We found a set of ear protector.

Yes, only one ear. In life you make many choices you need to live with. So which ear would you protect? Okay, your nose could be a possibility.

We did find a couple of tools.

A small socket and a screwdriver that had been buried for a long time. The socket made it into our lost tool collection. The screwdriver made it into the next recycle bin.

Along the way, we picked up a discarded McDonalds Happy Meal, and they left the unopened toy.

Why on earth would you buy a Happy Meal if you were not interested in the toy? Believe us, we have grandchildren, we know. The toy is a Rubik’s 2D. It was pretty lame. It consisted of four pieces of fixed blocks to put together to form the image below.

We gave it to our grandchildren. Now they think we are pretty lame.

Professional litterers.

You have to admire this. Litterers who label their trash.

On Monday, we found two bows on 112th Ave NE, one on each side of the street.

We thought someone had a birthday and tossed the bows. It happens. Today we found two more on the freeway onramp.

Then we remembered that last Sunday, a stretch limo entered our cul-de-sac, turned around and left.

A little later as we were running an errand, we saw the limo parked in front of a house with a bunch of white bows stuck to the side. They should have used better tape.

Last night, we had a bit of excitement by our house. A motorcyclist lost control and ended up down a embankment.

And, of course, today we had to pick up the pieces.

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