A Punny Week

Monday, July 19th, 2021 – Safeway

After a restful Sunday, we started a new week. We found a lot of normal trash and money to start the week!

A very battered quarter, but we are happy. As we’ve said before, the money-finding pressure is now off for the week.

Near Safeway, we found two cool pads that are put in the freezer and used to relieve muscle pain.

One was runover and punctured, but the other was intact. They were messy and heavy, so we left them in the Safeway trashcan. Later we found they cost $27 for two. Dang. We could have used the good one after our walks.

Also, near Safeway, a truck pulled out of a parking lot and talked to Janet.

The person told her she sees us all the time and owns a nearby coffee stand. She said if we want coffee any time come by. She will probably charge us.

As we passed the Safeway Bus Stop, we came across a white substance.

Janet wondered what is was and a guy at the bus stop said it was salt or coconut. It didn’t feel like either to us, so Janet asked the guy if he wanted to taste it. He declined; he wouldn’t put his money where his mouth was. Or the “salt” where his mouth was for that matter.

We found a knife.

It was flat with no sign of a handle or where a handle might have been attached. No holes for brads, etc. After some research, we think it may be a throwing knife, perhaps home-made. Janet carried it home, so Chuck made sure to stay behind her.

The car that went into the ravine last week uncovered a lot of trash. We decided to pick up two half-buried plastic bags.

They were filled with tin cans, plastic food tubs and other random trash. The bags had been there a while and plants had been growing through them. We removed the weeds as best we could which lightened the load a little. Fortunately, we were very close to home and manage to sort the mess out and into our trash bins.

Tuesday, July 20th, 2021 – Park-and-Ride

Today was a welcome change. We had our first precipitation in thirty-five days. Granted, it was a light mist/drizzle, but it was a refreshing change.

Well, okay! We found some folding money.

Only a penny, but it’s better than nothing. Not much better than nothing, but we’ll still count it.

Someone left us an unopened can of Mango Juice.

Obviously, a wannabe fan who does not know our tastes. Literally. Can you spell IPA?

Okay, these are getting boring.

Another socket and a lug nut. Now, if the socket fit the lug nut, we might have something to talk about, but probably not.

We found a piece of plastic with “Bonneville SE” on it.

After some research, it is a cover belonging to a Triumph Bonneville SE motorcycle. It was broken up, so not worth much. We didn’t find an image with the RAF logo on it, so it may have been an add-on by the owner.

On the way up Norway hill, we found a golf ball in the ditch.

Someone had a bad stroke because there are no golf courses near here.

Then, at the top of the hill, someone evidently had a good stroke.

So, did he rinse the condom out and set it out to dry for later use? It does appear to be well hung.

Wednesday, July 21st, 2021 – Safeway

Boring day today. Back to the marine layer overcast with no money. We did remove a roadkill rabbit from the road.

We picked up a bungee cord.

We almost missed it except the construction crew marked it out for us. We need to pay more attention.

We have not found one of these in several weeks.

A mask in a sealed baggie. During the height of the pandemic, we would find two or three of these a week. We never found out where they came from and didn’t understand why someone would toss out unused masks. One of trash’s many mysteries.

At the top of the Tolt Pipeline Trail, another condom.

Not nearly as well-hung as yesterday’s.

Thursday, July 22nd, 2021 – 160th to 124th Street

Today was good. We found no roadkill and found money. A crisp and unwrinkled one-dollar bill.

Okay, it wasn’t crisp, and it was wrinkled, but it was folding money. It made our money week, so far, hint, hint.

Oh, come on. Is this for real?

Another socket and another lug nut. Deja vu all over again.

We found some locks of hair filler.

First date: “Oh, wow, your hair is really silky… oops!” Oh well, there’s always another first date. Janet wanted Chuck to wear it as a ponytail, but a guy needs his standards. A real man would not pick up beer cans and dog poop bags while wearing a fake ponytail.

If you paid attention, last Saturday we tried to steer a couple of young ladies to the Tolt Pipeline Trail. The problem was, from where they were starting, it was only a half-mile until it was interrupted by the freeway then continued on the other side, but we had not been there.

Today, we decided to wander down the street that the trail resumed, but it was like entering a new territory. It was full of trash we couldn’t pass up. We decided to abandon the side trip and perhaps slowly extend our walks down this area to do what we call “grooming” to gradually clean up the area. We’ll see.

However, we did pick up a pair of sandals on our short journey.

Thy were heavy so, if you are interested, they are in the trash can at the bus stop at the park-and-ride.

Last year when the county put out the gypsy moth traps, the one on our route was very evident. This year, it is a bit out of sight, so we have been neglecting it.

It was empty, same as last year. We still think they would get more guests if they didn’t use “Gypsy Moth Trap” on the sign. Try “Ye Olde Gypsy Moth Inn.” It would be more inviting.

We carry two bags each, one for garbage and one for recycle. For garbage, we use light-weight bags that we tie-up and dispose of when they are full. However, the recycle bags are generally heavier duty and are used for three or four months until they wear out.

Today in the park-and-ride, we found a new replacement for Chuck’s recycle bag.

The old bag on the right is nearing its end-of-life. Hopefully that is not what passersby are thinking when they see us walking.

Friday, July 23rd, 2021 – 100th Ave NE

Tomorrow, we have a family thing to go to, so we will not be walking. So, today is our last walking day of the week. We removed a squirrel and a fat rat from the roadway but did not find any ore money. That makes a total of $1.26 for the week. We’re okay with that, but we would be much more okay with more money.

The first thing we found today was a car battery.

Some lowlife’s battery died, so the person replaced it and left the old battery by the side of the road for someone else to deal with. We were happy to deal with it. Autozone and O’Reilly, and probably others, give you a $10 merchandise card for a recycle. While running errands later in the day, we picked up the battery, dropped it at an O’Reilly store and received the card. So, the person who left this was not only a lowlife, but a loser lowlife.

We found a toddler’s pair of sunglasses.

They are destined for Goodwill. We do have a grandson they would fit, but they are pink with hearts. Now if they were black with little skull-and-crossbones icons, no problem.

For a good two years, Marlene stood at a building site touting “2 NEW Estate Luxury Homes coming soon.” Well, “soon” never arrived and she got replaced.

It really sucks to be replaced by automation. In another ten years, they will probably have a robot giving you a sales pitch instead of the sign.

As you know, we periodically throw in a pun or two. This week one of our good friends challenged us by trying to out-pun us. Fasten your seatbelts, folks.

We did find a screwdriver today.

But we couldn’t get a handle on it, so it got recycled.

We found a grooming utensil.

It should help us to comb through the trash.

This was buried in the dirt by the sidewalk.

But it finally bubbled to the surface.

Later, we found this near the sidewalk, but part was missing.

We’ll keep a watch out for the rest of it.

Don’t mess with professionals, Steve.

We find a lot of empty Amazon boxes that were probably stolen by porch pirates and discarded. Today, we found an unopened box.

Later, we contacted Amazon and explained the situation. After some back-and-forth, they told us to keep or dispose of the contents, our choice. With great anticipation, we opened the package.

It was obviously for a budding manicurist. A cuticle pushing tool and a two-pack of practice fingernails to paint. What a let-down. Together, they are worth about ten dollars on Amazon. Together, they are worth nothing to us.

We found another cell phone.

Unlike most we find, this one was in very good condition. We could see from the missed-call notifications on the lock screen that someone named Babe had tried to call the phone about every five minutes for two hours the evening before, so we surmised the owner was attempting to find the phone.

After we got home, we charged the phone and waited. Just before noon, the phone rang, and it was from Babe. The voice asked if we had her phone. Well, yes, we did answer it, didn’t we? She was very happy to hear it was safe and explained she and her boyfriend, “Babe”, not his real name, were about sixty miles away starting a five-day backpacking trip and asked if we could hang onto it until they got back. No problem, as long as Babe doesn’t call every five minutes.

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