Breakfast of Champions

Monday, November 28th, 2022 – Safeway

Starting the week, the weather was a tolerable 37°F (3°C) but was uninteresting. We did get a few honks and headlight blinks, but no money. We picked up a lot of random trash and did find a nice scarf.

There were no tags attached to it and will probably end up at Goodwill. We’ll see.

On a trash-related note, one of Chuck’s cousins sent an image of a clipping from the Berkshire Eagle newspaper, November 29th, 1965 about 58 years ago about the roots of the song, Alice’s Restaurant.

This shows that if you litter, you will become like Arlo Guthrie, and never become a productive member of society.

Just saying.

Wednesday, December 7th, 2022 – Safeway

Whoa! Where did the last eight days go? Well, the cold weather and snow swallowed them up. Snow started on Tuesday of last week and continued off-and-on for a few days with about four inches of accumulation. Then the weather turned cold, neither of which was conducive to walking. So instead of getting up at five a.m., we slept in, dreaming of how great it would be to be slipping and sliding through the snow.

Finally, after a couple of days in the high thirties, the snow has melted enough for us to venture out.

And we have to say, we would have rather stayed in our warm bed. But we did pick up a lot of trash, emptying our bags four or five times along the way.

On Norway Hill, we saw two Mike’s Lemonade cans down a bank. On the way down to pick up the cans, we kept stepping on cans that had been buried under the leaves. We picked up six cans there. We did not venture down any other banks but still picked up a total of sixteen Mike’s cans. Obviously, more to come.

Along Junita-Woodinville Way, we found three unopened cans of Coors.

Within a half block we found an empty can then two more unopened Coors Lights. That’s a full six-pack. We also found an unopened bag cereal. Hmm. That sounds familiar.

We did find a nice scarf today.

A nice addition to our Goodwill collection.

We found a ball.

It’s a bit early for spring training to start. Or is this just a snowball?

We found two places where car accidents occurred with numerous small car parts. We cleaned most of them up, but this will be a grooming process to clean up for several walks. We also found a wheel cover.

Toyota, naturally. It was on Safeway’s lawn, so we placed it by one of their trash cans.

Also, in the street in front of the store we found this.

Is this a couple of Safeway customers practicing the safe way?

Thursday, December 8th, 2022 – Park-and-Ride

The snow continued to melt revealing more water-logged trash but no money and no roadkill. It was still in the upper thirties, and we were rained on for most of the walk, but it was better than being dry and cold.

We found an envelope with some potentially interesting items in it.

But it turned out to be a memory-foam hybrid mattress that got a pretty good review here. They covered several comfort categories that seemed to be individually rated at about 3.5 stars. At the end they threw up fourteen more scores that brought its score up to 4.32. And nowhere did they mention the free letter opener, how can you trust a review like that?

We found another wallet in the gutter.

It was mostly empty, so either it had been replaced and tossed or found, stripped and flipped. The only thing in the wallet was a soggy pack of matches with an empty dime bag in it. There is probably a story here, but we would only be guessing. We put it in the Goodwill bag. The wallet, not the book of matches with a dime bag.

And the amorous couple of the Tolt Pipeline continue their journey to keep their relationship interesting. They started at the top of the Tolt Pipeline, went to the bottom of the hill, then across the freeway and now to back to the top.

But this is on the opposite side of the road, and there were two condoms. This is one wild couple. We’re anxious to see where they visit next. And it better not be our driveway.

Friday, December 9th, 2022 – 100th Ave NE

We are finally back on our normal routes after the snow delay. Again, no money and no roadkill, but we did see a live rabbit, the first since the snow began. Evidently, they hunker down during the snow, not like us TrashWalkers.

However, we did find a football in the gutter

A commemorative football for the super bowl the seahawks won. Heck, it might even be the game ball and worth a lot of money. But probably not.

We did find a couple of tools.

The first on the left was a very-rare, tie-down winch. We do find a lot of these, but this is the very first one we have found that is in pristine condition. Normally they have been run over and useless. This one was in mint condition. Then there was the small paint roller on the right. What is the opposite of pristine? It ended up in the recycle bin.

Okay, this is a bit strange. In some bushes near Safeway was a Safeway shopping basket which was not strange. What was strange was there were two necklaces in it.

Strangely these were two new, identical necklaces with the letter ‘M’ from the Claire’s store, and the nearest is about five miles away. Strange. Probably the basis for a Netflix miniseries. Anyway, why did they need an ‘M’ and an ‘M’ necklaces? Was her name Candy? Oh, give us a break, we only have limited material to work with.

Okay, on this short, snow-covered walk week, let’s see what is in Chuck’s vest pocket. Not much, really.

A poop bag, empty. Another Pokemon card that, again, we do not know how to use. Rodrigo’s Chase Bank Sapphire Credit card that says it expires in 2026, but not really. It was run over several times, so has already expired.

Crystal Schindler’s business card inviting you to visit her website at, but you might want to turn on in-private browsing before you venture there.

A blue “Squishy Dinosaur Fidget Toy.” We know it is a fidget toy because we found it on Etsy for $33. And it sold. What is it they say about a fool and their money? A plastic part of a toy that looked more interesting in the dark. Finally, half of an earbud. Not half of a pair of earbuds, but half of one earbud. So that would be one-fourth of a pair of earbuds. Just to be clear.

Saturday, December 10th, 2022 – Riverside Drive

This morning’s walk was a grind. The temperature was an average of 39°F (4°C) but it rained the entire time. We are also approaching the winter solstice, so it is dark for most of our four-hour walk. Again, no money and no roadkill, but we did find some tools.

A 17mm socket, slightly rusty; a flat-head screwdriver (rusty); a cigar/dope torch (empty); and a tape measure (busted). The butane torch is not normally considered a tool, but we figure the guy was trying to melt the snow and ran out of butane. All-in-all, we would have preferred to find some money.

Heading down the hill toward Riverside Drive, we picked up another McMess.

Whoever is doing this goes out of their way to make a mess. We have started to collect the receipts to see if we can find a pattern. So far, we have three receipts from two McDonalds, and he always orders a cheeseburger and a large diet coke. We may eventually need to go to work at McDonalds to track this guy down.

Farther down the hill, we came to a two large tree branches that fell across one lane of the road.

We moved the branches off to the side and cleaned up several of the collateral branches that fell. We’re used to picking up stuff. It comes natural to us.

Another urine-filled water bottle.

Ordinarily we do not take photos of balls anymore, but here is this week’s second exception.

It’s a normal ball, but it was at the bottom of the Brickyard Road hill. We picked it up and when we reached the top of the hill, we set it free so we can pick it up again next week. Not really, but we should have.

At the park-and-ride, a small dog’s hoody.

In this weather, without this the chihuahua is probably shaking even more than even more than usual. It’s silly to put buttons on the back of the hoody. How can the dog reach back there to unbutton them?


at the park-and-ride, a pair of pillows.

Someone is planning to get lucky at the park-and-ride. Hey buddy, you will probably need a blanket or two and don’t forget the condoms. Oh, and you might need some of this.

We spotted two cars across from the apartments on Woodinville Drive with license plates one number off. Obviously, they moved to the state and registered both cars at the same time.

However, on a hunch we used a free license plate lookup online. The one ending in zero is registered to a 2015 BMW and the other to a 2017 BMW. Something seems to be a bit fishy here. That is one way to keep your license plate tags current.

That wraps up our extended walking week. Our take:

  • No Money. This is getting pretty boring.
  • 28 Mike’s Hard Lemonade cans.
  • 7 Balls including a Seahawks super bowl football.
  • 5 Coors cans, full.
  • 3 Condoms.
  • 2 Scarfs.
  • 2 Tree branches.
  • 1 Wallet.
  • 1 Letter opener.

Have a great week and remember, whipped cream is not just for sundaes anymore.

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