The Overpriced Chair

November 4th, 2019 – Safeway Route.

This morning was 40 F!  It felt like we were in the banana belt.  It was the best walk we’ve had in at least a week.  To top it off, we found Money!  A whole quarter!  Okay, some of it may be missing from being run over, but we’ll count it.  It’s been a long dry spell, about two weeks, since we’ve found money.  We’ll blame the leaves for hiding it, certainly not miserly litterers.

At the bottom of the Told Pipeline people often park and walk their dogs on the Pipeline Trail.  This person lost the dog’s ball.  We hope they took better care of the dog.

Nearby, we found a lost infant’s sock.  We hope they took better care of… Oh, never mind, bad joke.  We hope.

We picked up a deflated celebratory balloon. And there was much rejoicing. 

And this was another downer.  Some kid lost his trick-or-treat bag.  And he only got to eat the Tootsie Roll.  The Starbursts were unopened.  Side note:  We have a neighbor who is from the Philippines.  Each year after Halloween,  he buys his kid’s candy from them and sends the rest to his mother in the Philippines who gives it to the poor children.  That’s a great idea.  This Halloween, we got an estimated total of, let’s see, zero trick-or-treaters.  At least we know where to take our candy.

Well, except for that Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

I hate it when Janet thumps me on the head.

We found a 2017 day planner in the middle of the street.  It had the typical pages of random maps, weights and measures conversions plus the day planner pages.  We were impressed, this is from a Carpenters Local Union and the entries started on Monday January 2nd.  A great resolution to start an organized new year.

But the last entry was Friday, January 6th. Oh, well, that’s one resolution down the tubes.

Last week, we came across a chair waiting for the Independence day parade.  

Then the chair disappeared and reappeared with a table. Guess he’s planning on selling tickets to the nonexistent parade six months away.

On Norway Hill, it appears the Taco Time Tokus has broken the truce with the McLitterers.  It will literally get ugly.   Or make that “Litter-ally.”

Another butt-filled bottle.  And not in the Gatorade Gully where it belongs.

Later, we ventured down into Gatorade Gully and retrieved another one.  Along with seven Bud Light cans.  Yesterday, we picked up two more cans that were near the top, so there were a total of nine Bud Light cans.  I took a photo with my new phone, but it didn’t save for some reason.  It must be software error.  Certainly not human error.  This view is from my other camera.

We found a piece of jewelry. 

An earring.  After some minor repairs, it cleaned up well.  Unfortunately, we only found one.

 

November 5th, 2019 – Park-and-Ride Route.

It was slightly cooler today with fog.  We didn’t find any roadkill and got a few waves, but we did find some money. W00t!  Ten dollars!  However, it was counterfeit.  From our close examination of it, we determined that it is only about two-thirds the size of a real bill.  I guess we could make the argument that it is worth $6.66, but we doubt the bank would buy it.

Near the start of our walk, the city put up temporary speed monitors.  These things don’t work.  They’re supposed to light up to show your speed, but no matter how fast we walked, it didn’t register.  Maybe a dead battery?

At the off ramp from the freeway, we found some discarded stolen mail.  It was all junk mail, so we recycled it.

Well, the table’s gone and they’ve lowered the price for the chair.  We might consider it if they drop the price further.

We did find a tool for our found tool collection.  A three-eighths to half-inch socket adapter.  Don’t start.  It counts as a tool.

And another dog ball. This one was near a house that we know a dog lives, so we tossed it back into its yard. 

Another wayward car mirror.  Mirror, mirror on the ground…  Wait, we used that last week.  Guess we’ll need to resort to smoke and mirrors.

We found a pair of shoes, and in pretty good condition to boot.  We deposited them in a clothing collection box at the 7-Eleven.

We found a probe.  We figure it was an anal probe accidentally left by aliens who abduct people.  At least that’s our story until we can probe further into this issue.  Uh, never mind.

 

Finally, we took this photo, just because.  A nice walk up Norway Hill.  There are probably a bunch of beer cans hidden under the leaves.

 

November 6th, 2019 – Safeway Route.

The weather was mild again and there was relatively little trash.  We got a quick drive-by honk and removed a fresh roadkill rabbit.   The crows were not happy.

They squawked at us.  

We did find some money.  This time for real.  Another quarter.  We would have preferred a real ten-dollar bill, but this will do.

In a parking lot near Safeway, someone had a pot party.  Five empty marijuana packs within about twenty feet of each other.  This is near a pizza place.  Maybe the delivery drivers received tips?

On Norway hill, we spotted some tire tracks on the bank and looked over the edge to see if some trash had been dumped.  We saw a long yellow tape draped along the bank.   

We followed it up the hill and found where it started.  It was a yellow tape measure taped to a rod by the side of the road.  And by black tape.  We have no idea.  But it won’t be very accurate starting at three inches.

At a bus stop, someone set up a diorama.  It was a jewel-encrusted “tree” with a lion looking for it’s pills while being stalked by a black spider.

The pills were Dimenhydrinate, AKA Dramamine.  A Chinese lion who gets motion sickness riding a bus?

 

November 7th, 2019 – Park-and-Ride Route.

It was a little cooler this morning, but not bad.  We got an enthusiastic honk on Norway Hill.  That almost never happens.  It must have been a newbie, but we appreciated it.  We removed a rat from the roadway and found more money on the freeway on ramp. Ok, it’s only a penny, but it’s better than nothing.  We don’t care what your two cents is.  Or even your one cent.  It’s money!

Speaking of money,  Nope, still above our price point.  We’ll wait this one out.

On Norway Hill, the Taco Time Tokus struck again.  The McLitterers were nowhere to be found, but it appears the Taco Time Tokus picked up some allies.  But they are not as sophisticated.  Trash scattered and taco sauce strewn on the ground.  It’s hard to get good help these days.

And we finally got your goat.  Oh, give us a break, we don’t often find something this easy.

 

November 8th, 2019 – Safeway Route.

It was a cold, foggy 32F morning walk with Friday-light traffic and moderate litter.  We didn’t find any money but got a few waves and removed a roadkill bird.  We also found a bag along NE 145th Street.  As soon as we picked it up, we knew it had something dead in it.  When we opened it, we found two dead squirrels someone had tossed.  This is the third bag like this we’ve found along this road.  Come on, people, take responsibility.

Today, the chair was gone.  They must have lowered the price and someone else got it.  Timing is everything.  That’s what we get for keeping on the edge of our seat.

Someone lost a Christmassy scarf from Greenbrier International, Inc.  Despite its appearance, it is in good shape.  It’ll get washed and sent to Goodwill.

Ok, two bottles of Jinro Chamisul and Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum to cover your breath.  Ok, got breakfast covered.

A warning tag.  Our first thought is, why even buy these things.  But it turns out to be a standard warning for anything made of a flammable material.  It’s like what we grew up wearing as kids.  And, yes, we also rode in cars without seatbelts before there was such a thing.  Sitting in our mother’s lap.  We survived.

Up the hill, another Taco Time Tokus.  The McLitterers are still a no-show.

At the top of Norway Hill at the Tolt Pipeline Trail, a random litterer.  What really goes through these people’s minds?  Nothing at all?

At the top of Norway Hill, we did get treated to a nice sunrise.  Well, as nice as it gets in the fog in November.

Good citizens dumping toxic chemicals on Norway Hill.  They will be taken to the next hazardous waste recycle event.

 

November 9th, 2019 – Riverside Drive.

Today was warm but wet with a light to heavy drizzle the entire walk.  We got a few nice waves as it got lighter, but found no money and no roadkill.  Well, not really roadkill, for the second day in a row, we found someone had tossed a bagged dead animal by the side of the road.  We were near one of our dumpster drop-off locations so we didn’t even bother to open it and left it in the garbage.  Hey, when it’s our time, feel free.

We did find a piece of jewelry.  Okay, it was a baby’s plastic bracelet.  But it was probably advertised as a simulated 14-karat, gold-plated bracelet.

We found what we thought was discarded stolen mail. It was scattered across the intersection of Riverside Drive and 102nd Ave.  However, it was someone’s discarded Spanish homework. It wasn’t complete.  They can use the excuse that “the elderly couple stole my homework.”

Later, a few miles away from the Spanish homework, we found some German homework.  Now THIS we can get into.  We actually met in high school in German class so we had a chance here.  But, as usual, we got 90% of the sentence then missed a noun.  In the upper-right, “The map had a problem.  The other maps in the school were not kind.  They were mean. ”  Why German class you say?  Chuck was an army brat and lived in Germany in his very early years.  Janet’s family was from Germany.  So, we blame our families for our plight in life. 

The Taco Time Tocus continue to make their mark.  

But wait.  There may be a newcomer to the field, but we’ll see if they can catch up.

There is a continuing war in the area, but nobody seems to notice.  We think we might have been hit by one of these bullets in a drive-by.  But it could have been a gnat.  It happens.

We found a spoon  in the road.  We know zero spoon-in-the-road jokes, but if we did, we’d spoon-feed it to you.

We found an empty plastic bag from Echo Incorporated.   The only other labeling on it was the message “WARNING: Cancer and Reproductive harm” in English, Spanish and French.  Why would anyone even open it?

Senior Living Solutions.  We may check into this.  We would prefer living.

Week number four and the Lime-E bicycle is still in the ditch.We considered trying to get it out, but they weigh about 60 pounds and there are blackberry bushes down there and they draw blood if you’re not careful.

These guys moved farther down road and are now parked in the entrance to the blocked-off river access road.  It’s okay with us as long as they don’t trash the place.  

Another Engine Repair in a dual-chamber bottle.  

One chamber has Formula A for restoring performance with:

• Hi-Tech Additives.
  • What makes an additive high tech?  Marketing?
• Friction Modifiers.
  • This isn’t helpful.  Does it increase or decrease friction?
• Stop Leak Treatment.

The other has Formula B for:

• Oil Stabilizer.
  • This is good.  There is far to much oil instability in the world.
• Viscosity Improvers.
  • What is improved viscosity? Higher or lower?
• Seal Conditioners.
  • We don’t think many people keep these as pets.

Someone tossed out their empties.  Eleven Rich & Rare Canadian Whiskey mini bottles.  At least they used an Eco-Hippo biodegradable bag to the 100-year life mini bottles.

We’ve walked by the Securite Gun Club as it was being built over the last year and at one point, one of the owners walked up to us and thanked us for picking up trash.  They finally had the grand opening last weekend and today we find this.  Great, another source of litter.

A dubious milestone was attained this week – since July 2017 we have given 300 roadkill a more respectable decomposition by tossing them into the bushes.